Firstly, apologies that I have been such a rubbish blogger recently. I have barely had a moment to myself so blogging hasn’t really been on my agenda lately. I never even got around to taking our Me & Mine photos for February unfortunately! And secondly, I don’t want this post to come across like I’m moaning, because that is not the case. I contemplated whether I should even share this on my blog but sadly these things happen regularly so therefore are Ordinary Moments for me.
The last couple of weeks have really tested me, both emotionally and physically. I have shed a fair few tears and just generally not felt like myself at all. I’ve mentioned previously that I care for my dad alongside my part time office job, this works for our family as it means I get to spend more time with Bella and be the one to look after my Dad. We have a routine during the week and I pop in to do my bits for him on set days with Bella in tow and although my week is busy, it’s manageable.
On Mothers day, I had just got out of the shower when I received a panicked call from my Dad who had pressed his lifeline button to get through to me. He had woken up that morning and couldn’t see. Although he is already partially sighted I straight away knew what had happened, he had experienced a bleed in his eye which was blocking his vision. He’d had this before, but never this bad he told me. He was in a real fluster and informed me a paramedic was already on their way. We quickly got dressed and headed to his.
We arrived at the same time as the paramedic, who after assessing Dad, decided he needed to be taken into hospital so that the specialist eye doctor could take a look. We waited for almost two hours for the back up ambulance to arrive. The lovely paramedic informed me that Mothers day is one of their busiest days, who knew?!
Dad was released from hospital that same evening and booked in for an emergency eye scan the next day at a different hospital which confirmed it was just a bad bleed, and it should clear on it’s own.
The last week has been completely hectic as unfortunately his vision hasn’t improved much at all. I can’t even begin to imagine just how scary it must be not being able to see. My Dad lives alone and is fairly independent for a partially sighted amputee. But at the moment where he can’t see much at all I’m having to administer all his medication for him, 8 tablets in the morning, 6 in the evening. Test his blood sugars then give him the correct insulin. I’m having to prepare his breakfast and his dinner each day and make sure the fridge is stocked with easy to grab snacks for lunch.
I’m having to do all of the above around our normal routine which involves visits to him before and after work as well as on my lunch break sometimes too.
I feel like I’m juggling so many different things at the moment that my head might just explode and I’m slightly nervous that I’ll forget something really important soon, like picking Bella up from nursery… Although, I’m sure they would call me fairly promptly if that was the case 😉 I’m definitely stretching myself too thinly right now, I’ve been trying my hardest to make sure Bella’s getting enough of my attention too. We have somehow managed to go swimming and to the swings twice this week amidst all the chaos. but unfortunately there is nothing I can do. I’m a carer and sometimes, there are no days off. Not even on Mothers day.
This won’t last forever, things should get easier. But right now, it’s pretty damn hard. I said to my sister the other day, that people with healthy parents really don’t realise just how lucky they are.
Health really is so so important and it’s something people take for granted every single day. My poor Dad isn’t even 60, yet his list of health issues is longer than my arm and he has been unable to work for over 10 years. Life can be so unfair and it really does put things into perspective. If I’m ever having a bad day, I try to remind myself that somebody, somewhere is having a much worse day than me. And the things I’m getting worked up about, probably aren’t even important, not really.
Bella at just Two, definitely knows something is up with her Papa. She’s been giving him lots of extra cuddles and kisses. As we said goodbye the other day she looked him straight in the eye and said ‘I Lulllllooo Papa’ completely unprompted. I though my Mama heart was going to burst! He might not be able to see her at the moment, but he definitely heard her words and his whole face lit up. It was a very special ordinary moment, one that I wish I could bottle up and keep forever.
Linking up with Katie to share #TheOrdinaryMoments
Thanks for reading