Toddler Sleeping Woes.

It’s currently 2am and I have lost count of the amount of times I have put my daughter back to bed. I haven’t been to sleep properly myself yet and my head is pounding as hot tears roll down my face. I can’t remember the last time I had a full nights sleep and I feel like I’m walking around in a sleep deprived daze the majority of the time. I just can’t help but feel like I’m failing at this Motherhood lark. Where did I go so wrong?!  It’s a horrible feeling and it’s something that’s been consuming me recently and I can’t shake it off.

My daughter is TWO, and she still doesn’t sleep through the night.

There. I said it. And for some reason it feels like because I’ve actually written it down, I’m finally accepting it’s a problem. It’s not something I’m proud of, I’m actually really embarrassed because I know she should have been sleeping through ages ago.

I have made countless excuses for her broken sleep in the last 27 months. ‘Ohh maybe it’s the wind howling, maybe she’s under the weather, maybe she’s thirsty, maybe she’s hungry, maybe she’s scared’… or maybe she’s just not a good sleeper and maybe it’s my bloody fault. Maybe it’s not actually my fault, but I have tried so many different methods now that the only conclusion I can come to is that, at some point, somewhere, I went wrong. After over two years of broken sleep now, I’m so so desperate to resolve this ongoing sleeping saga.

The thing I find most frustrating is it’s not that she can’t sleep through for a good solid 12-13 hours, because believe me, she can, and does, on a regular basis. The issue however, is that she doesn’t do this consistently. I’m tired, Josh is tired and I’m pretttttty sure Bella must be too. Judging by her diva like toddler tantrums she’s been throwing lately.

Nine times out of ten, there are no objections when we put her to bed and she settles herself to sleep pretty quickly, but more often than not, at some point in the night she’ll wake up crying and/or hysterically screaming and banging on the walls and door. It’s ALWAYS Mummy she wants during the night, which of course it is nice to feel loved but not so much at that time of night thanks Kiddo. It sometimes takes a few minutes to get her back to sleep but it can also take hours, like tonight. When you all have to be up early for work and nursery this is really not ideal.

The topic of baby Lee number 2 has been discussed a lot recently. But quite frankly the thought of pregnancy fatigue and the dreaded morning sickness on a broken nights sleep is enough to make me want to gauge out my own eyeballs, because lets be honest, it would be pretty similar.

Then of course there is the thought of having not one, but two kids waking us up in the night. N o  t h a n k  y o u . So until we get the child we already have sleeping well, we are in no rush whatsoever to add anymore into the equation.

We said goodbye to her afternoon nap just after Christmas in the hope it would help but sadly it hasn’t. Although now if she does have a nap, it makes matters a lot worse.

We’ve been using a Gro Clock for almost two weeks now which she definitely understands the concept of but it doesn’t seem to be making much difference, regardless of how many times I say ‘you need to stay in bed until the sun comes up’.

If any fellow Mama’s out there have any advice, tips or useful information then please please please help this sleep deprived Mama out. Like I said, I really am desperate now.


Harriet xo

My Petit Canard

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  • Kimberley

    I don’t have any children (yet) so I’m afraid I don’t have any advice. But I’m confident to say it’s not your fault! You’re a great mama doing a great job and I’m sure something will click soon xxx

    February 12, 2016 at 5:33 pm Reply
    • Harriet Lee

      Thank you Kimberley for your really sweet comment! Fingers crossed it will click soon xxx

      February 15, 2016 at 11:54 am Reply
  • Little Ladies Big World

    I am sending the biggest sympathy to you. Mummy guilt is hard but do try not to beat yourself up. It’s the consistency that’s hard isn’t it? I have a 5 year old and a 1 year old. The youngest has not been a great sleeper (yet!) although she can sleep 12 hours she doesn’t always so I worry every single night if I will sleep or not. Just to say I sympathise. And the only advice is don’t talk at all in the night, just return. And consistency is key. Always. I hope it gets better….and soon x

    February 12, 2016 at 10:21 pm Reply
    • Harriet Lee

      Thank you lovely for your sweet comment. Yes it is so hard to be consistent when you are so tired but I know it’s the only way. Thankfully the last two nights have been much better. xoxo

      February 15, 2016 at 11:55 am Reply
  • A Marathon Not A Sprint

    Honestly, it isn’t your fault. She also “shouldn’t have been sleeping through ages ago”, as though there is some kind of rule that she’s failing to meet. I really think this is far more common than anyone realises because so few people admit to it. I have two children who have been parented in the same way, particularly with approaches to sleep and bedtime. My eldest slept through from being about 3 months old. Since then, we have had the odd phase when she is unsettled at night but normally now only if she has a nightmare. My youngest, who will be 3 in April, is a terrible sleeper and always has been. She is perfectly capable of sleeping thought the night but she rarely does so for 5 days in a row. I haven’t been not tired since having her, and I have honestly done nothing different with her to with my 4 year old. She just doesn’t need as much sleep and is a completely different character. Bella will get there one day, but do not – please do not – blame yourself for this. Honestly – some kids sleep, some don’t. Anyone who has kids who sleep well is just lucky, whether they realise it or not. We used to pat ourselves on the back about what a good job we’d done with daughter 1, what great parents we must be. Then daughter 2 came along and laughed in our faces! Keep going, stay strong, get help whenever you can and grab any and all opportunities for naps/lie ins when someone is around to help. x

    February 13, 2016 at 8:09 am Reply
    • Harriet Lee

      Ahhh thank you so much for this lovely comment. It definitely made me feel much better about the whole situation. I do agree that it’s a lot more common that we realise, people just don’t talk about it. I can see why, I have never really spoken about it much before. Thankfully the last couple of nights have been much better, so fingers crossed we’ll crack it soon! As i’d love to give her a sibling at some point hopefully! xoxox

      February 15, 2016 at 11:58 am Reply
  • Kaye

    I totally feel for you. I fell pregnant with baby #2 in November, and my 2 year old’s sleep problems turned horrific on the December, I was left thinking how the heck will I cope!! I can only hope it is a sleep regression of sorts, but A would scream and scream at bedtime. We’ve finally got him going to sleep fairly painlessly, but he’s now starting to wake often in the night and comes into our bed, which is now a habit we’re going to have to break. Sorry I can’t offer much help, but you’re not alone. Perhaps a chat with the HV will help? Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

    February 15, 2016 at 8:49 pm Reply
    • Harriet Lee

      It’s so reassuring to hear that i’m not the only person with a toddler that can be a pickle at bedtime! Thanks for your lovely comment Kaye xo #MarvMondays

      February 22, 2016 at 10:34 am Reply
  • Mummy Pat

    God! It’s so tempting to blame yourself, but, like everyone else has said, some kids sleep, some kids don’t. We’ve just had our second baby and we’ve got a bedside cot this time round in the hope she’ll settle down quickly, but we aren’t taking it for granted that she’ll be like her big brother. I’m sure things will get better; fingers crossed it’s sooner rather than later.

    April 7, 2016 at 7:28 pm Reply
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