I’m not afraid to admit that Motherhood is not always a walk in the park (literally). When you become a parent you have to become completely selfless whether you like it or not. You don’t get ‘days off’ from being a Mama. It’s all consuming and sometimes it’s quite frankly draining. Of course I can’t deny that it’s the most rewarding job in the whole world but some days aren’t easy.
Some days are good but some days are bad and some days you just need to write off all together and start again tomorrow. And that’s okay.
Today (Sunday) was a ‘combination of all of the above’ kind of day. It was lovely but it started off rocky when Bella played up when we went out for a family breakfast with my dad, my sister and her family. She didn’t want to eat but she didn’t want to sit nicely either. She wanted to explore and let me tell you it was bloody hard work trying to stop her running riot in a busy garden centre.
We then went and chose our tree which was all fine apart from the fact she point blank REFUSED to have her photo taken with me in front of the Christmas trees. The outtakes Josh took were highly amusing…
Bella helped decorate the tree nicely in between playing with her play doh at the dining table all whilst not so sneakily scoffing countless chocolates and dancing very cutely along to Christmas songs. Success.
However, dinner was a complete and utter shitshow. This ‘phase’ of not eating much is starting to wear me down big time. It’s either one extreme or the other, she’ll either clear her plate and ask for pudding or barely eat a thing. But of course she’ll eat absolutely anything and everything they give her at Nursery. SO.FRUSTRATING. Eventually we came to a compromise and she did eat half of her meal followed by a yoghurt.
By this point we needed some quiet time so we finished the day with a lush bubble bath (for her, not me unfortunately!) and the devil child that was screaming the place down ten minutes previous was replaced with the sweetest little curly haired girl you’d ever met. Do you ever wonder if your kid’s trying to push you into an early midlife crisis? I bloody well do almost every single day.
Bella was so sweet at bath time, splashing about in the warm pink bubbles and giggling away as we played peek a boo over the side of the bath. I quickly forgot about the dinner time dramas and grabbed my camera which she loved posing in front of and pulling her best ‘cheeeese’ face for.
When it was time to get out I was fully expecting a minor meltdown and a few ‘no waaaaaaayyyy’s but surprisingly she happily obliged, we brushed her teeth and got ready for bed. Her infectious giggling continued as we headed upstairs and sat on the floor together to read a few bed time stories.
She clambered all over me, wrapping her arms around my neck and squeezing me tight. She held my face so gently while smothering me with countless toothpaste kisses before I eventually tucked the crazy little whirlwind into bed. As I leant in and kissed her goodnight, she blew me a million kisses and I thought my heart may just fly out of my chest. I left her bedroom holding back big fat happy tears.
Yes, it’s hard, and of course it’s testing at times but my god it’s always so worth it. For those little moments that make your Mama heart actually hurt because you didn’t know it was even possible to love someone so small so very much.